"marthastewart" is a bad word in my kitchen

I thought I'd give old Ms. MS a shot again this Christmas. I was feeling charitible and tough. I could take her on this year. So I bought her Holiday magazine in search of a new recipe. I found the "peppermint icicles" and thought "great! a gift to give for visiting teaching." There were like 5 ingredients : sugar, corn syrup, lemon juice, flavoring and food coloring. How hard could that be? So I bought some new extract, and the rubber gloves so I wouldn't scald my hands and I began to boil my candy. And that is where the disaster began. I think the MS lie comes out in the directions. The supplies/ingredients are always easy enough, it's the lack of accurate directions. My candy boiled at the wrong rate, it stayed hot way too long, then cooled at the wrong time, it wouldn't stick to itself but it would stick to the pan, the rubber gloves, my countertop. And my hands we stained for 2 days with the food coloring once it cooled and I thought I had a chance. I wish I had taken a picture of the disaster, but my hands were so stained I was afraid to touch my camera. In short it was a candy-cane clump plastered to the counter-top with a thrashed pair of yellow rubber gloves warped in the middle. It looked like a terrorist attack on Candyland. It was not a sight for children or those with weak constitutions.

At the end of it all I managed to salvage of the mangled wreck was enough to make toothpick like replicas of the pictures, so here it is. My paltry offering to the candy-cane gods.